Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
