Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
