After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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