Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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