you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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