it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
