Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
