I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
