Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
