you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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