she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize