just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
