Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize