thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
