I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
