Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Randomize
