She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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