I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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