it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Girls should come with a carfax report
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
