You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
