i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
