She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
