sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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