just come out here and I will go home with you...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
