I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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