The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
