meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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