i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
