can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
