is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I am spending my child support on dildos
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize