Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
