he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
