you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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