he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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