i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
