Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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