He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
