Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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