do herpes really smell.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
