he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
