garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
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