My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
