why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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