yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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