how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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