Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
