the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
