Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
