Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize