Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
