What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
