C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Drunk is not a location!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
