Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
