I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
false alarm, still single
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
