You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
