these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
