i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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