I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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