I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
