Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
