What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
