woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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