For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
