Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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