shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
