OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Drunk is not a location!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
