her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
