the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
