if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize