He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
