bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize