The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
