Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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