We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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