who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm getting married
To pizza
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
