Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
