She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
