If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
