omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
