The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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