New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
