You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my phone needs a breathalizer
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
