my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize