It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
